Friday of the Third Week of Advent
December 21, 2007
"Arise, my beloved, my beautiful one, and come! You are lovely"
- Songs 2:13-14

It is good and right to have things in your life that call you to accountability as a Christian. This point was brought home to me after I had a rather hilarious conversation with someone about road rage. We have to watch our response when someone cuts us off or is somehow mean to us on the road. The preferred response is not to become angry and to express that anger with choice words and hand gestures. This is especially not a good practice when you are a Christian who perhaps has a cross hanging from your rear view mirror or some Christian bumper sticker for all to see. The incongruence between your Christian signs and the unloving signs you are displaying with your body are just not the best witness!

I do not remember which country I learned about that had an interesting custom of communication. Basically, it was an accepted form of speech to begin the conversation with a few nice words and then be able to say whatever you wanted even if it got very mean. So, it is like the first few kind words covered the multitude of cutting words that followed. To me this seems incongruent and like and an oxymoron for one who is trying to live a loving life.

Over and over I have heard stories of grown-ups who either were very wounded by their parents/elders dignity destroying words or who deal out that same brutality to their own children. Obviously, that is not the way Christ would ever talk to us and that is not the way a Christian would talk. Where is the blessing of others? It is a contradiction to profess that we are fully blessed by Christ and then to talk in the opposite way towards others- especially our children and those who are younger. If we do not know the blessing in our hearts then how will we ever give it through our speech?

How can we have a reminder that we are always to bless with our words? In Songs 2:13-14, we soak in, "Arise, my beloved, my beautiful one, and come! You are lovely." What if, every time before we called someone by name, we put the word "Beloved" before his or her name? So, if you were about to address Tony, you would say, "Beloved Tony" and then continue on with addressing Tony. That would be a huge reminder of Tony's infinite dignity in God and help us to carry out our conversation by honoring Tony's boundless value in God. Wow! By putting "Beloved" before each person's name we say it would help keep us accountable to bless and not demean others in all the words that follow.

So, Beloved friends, let us try this practice! Implement it into your conversations and let me know what happens.

We are infinitely blessed!

+ Fr. John