We do not decide when we are born and we do not decide when we die - God does.

Once in a difficult pastoral situation a man asked me to support his decision to euthanize himself with a particular medication. He told me on the phone that this was his intention and he was asking me to put my blessing on it. When I visited him for the last time, I knew he wanted me to bless him actively taking his own life. I told him that I could not bless his decision because it is God who decides when we die.

The heart of his issue was the difficulty of his suffering and feeling his life was such a huge and unfair burden to his wife who was his caretaker. I tried to communicate empathy for the suffering he faced while, at the same time, clearly stating that our faith does not give us the authority to take our own lives. At this point in the conversation he became quite upset with me and kicked me out of his house.

It can be difficult for someone to trust in the Lord when they suffer and particularly when that suffering is grave. If we have been given the ability to end all suffering then why not just use that ability? Just make decisions to wipe out all suffering, especially if it is serious. The whole problem with this mentality is we are not trusting in the Lord and the meaning he gives to suffering.

Why trust in the Lord with our suffering if there is not purpose to it? If a person rejects God and does not trust in him, there is no purpose to suffering. On the other hand, the greatest blessing we could ever know comes by trusting in the Lord with our suffering. Suffering teaches us that there is only ONE who can save us from it. It is by jumping into the arms of God like a child jumps into his parents arms where the saving power of God is revealed. "Jesus whispers to us in our joy but speaks loudly in our pain", says C.S. Lewis. It is in suffering that the hope and eternal salvation of God is revealed. We only have to look to the cross of Christ to see where God pours out his greatest might, compassion and hope. Not only the one who suffers can learn this if they trust in the Lord but all who care for the one suffering can learn the same by giving that same trust to the Lord.

Blessed by the BEST,

+Fr. John